HomeCrewCalendarFAQSearchRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 Men, the Gender Wars Are Over — We Won

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
theanalyzer
Noob Student - Level 1
Noob Student - Level 1
avatar

Title : Maker of Porn
Reputation : 308
Number of posts : 1362
Location : Pillar of Autumn

PostSubject: Men, the Gender Wars Are Over — We Won   Mon Feb 15, 2010 2:13 am

Well, I came across this brilliant topic, dunno where to put it... Theology or Politics wont work, so ill post it here for maximum coverage

Quote :


Confidential Memo

To: All Men

Re: Operation “Feminist Movement”

Men, our long twilight struggle with the opposite sex is over. Our victory is total.

Can you believe the way things used to be? Remember when our fathers and grandfathers would drag themselves to mind-numbing jobs every day, having the sole responsibility for the feeding, clothing, and housing of their entire family?

And things were no easier before marriage, when men’s quest for sexual satisfaction was all too often hampered by the widespread moral code which taught women not to give out the “milk” for “free.”

Well, that state of affairs just wouldn’t do. So we men came together and did what we do best — formulate and implement a plan. First step, design the perfect world, the perfect male world. We decided such a world would consist of two things: less responsibility and more — and no-strings — sex.

Brothers, have we succeeded.

The amazing thing, really, is how easy it was, how fast the old world of obligation and responsibility dissolved. The first, crucial step, of course, was convincing women that they had it bad, that our jobs were “intellectually stimulating” and not the soul-crushing monotony that they in fact were.

It worked, and soon women were clamoring to join us on the job. It seems never to have occurred to them that we could have so easily prevented them from doing so — and yet we didn’t. We sidestepped without much fuss, actually, which had to have constituted the largest voluntary abdication of power in history. This alone should have tipped them off that something was amiss.

Right away, women at work began to solve our problems. First, men and women interacting more frequently inevitably led to hanky-panky, which led to the breakup of families, which led to less responsibility for us.

But that was only a start. To really fix things, we had to root out that old bourgeoisie mentality that had in previous times kept girls frustratingly modest and chaste. And what better way to do that than to convince women that the most reckless elements of our sexuality — the promiscuity — were in fact the correct behaviors, which had to be imitated in order for them to be “liberated”?

Amazingly, they bought that, too.

Unfortunately, our sister selves are less suited to such behavior, which can cause painful and lasting tears in the feminine soul. But no matter — we were also able to convince them that there was no such thing as a “feminine” soul, any more than there is a “masculine” soul, and that both sexes are equally suited to all things.

(Many of you said that women would never buy this, that the accumulated history of our species speaks to the deep and abiding difference between the sexes, a difference which has benefited both sides from time immemorial. But I was sanguine about our ruse — have I not been vindicated?)

Men, “Operation Feminist Movement” has worked, and more swiftly and completely than many of you thought possible. Mere decades ago, we spent endless hours and countless dollars before marriage courting and wooing; after marriage, we shouldered the entire financial burden for our families.

Now, after marriage, women can be expected to pay for half of everything, which is to the good, because video games are expensive. But, as more and more of you are discovering, why bother with marriage at all anymore? You can stay up all night, hang with your buds all the time, secure in the knowledge that on any given night you can be sure to find a willing woman, a woman who has likely been taught, conditioned even (by other women!) to expect nothing from you in return — and that this is a good thing.

Is it any wonder that, according to recent research, women these days are “becoming less happy relative to men” across all age, income, and marital levels? No, this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, although the unhappiness of the modern woman seems to be taking many of them by surprise. After all, don’t they “have it all”?

No — it is men who now have it all.

Congratulations, brothers. Our day is at last at hand, a day of no responsibility and easy mating access as far as the eye can see. Best of all, women are convinced that they have done this themselves, and for their own good.

Sure, there are downsides. Civilization has now entered into free fall; those masterpieces of art and science and literature, for which men have been almost exclusively responsible, have ceased to issue forth from our minds and hands — and is it any wonder? Such pyrotechnics are no longer necessary to impress women, which, really, was the only reason we bothered. High culture seems a small price to pay, though, for the loosening of morals and duties which has brought our present Sex and the City-fueled bounty.

So sit back, men, and enjoy the slide. It’s Miller time.

Source
Back to top Go down
-VisioN-
Noob Apprentice - Level 1
Noob Apprentice - Level 1
avatar

Reputation : 5
Number of posts : 557
Location : here and there
[9D](Acclaim) : -Vision-
[VC] : AION Telemashus server lvl 50 ranger ^^
[FW] : Darthy also
Me? : the greatest thing ull ever learn is just to love and be loved in return

PostSubject: Re: Men, the Gender Wars Are Over — We Won   Mon Feb 15, 2010 5:57 pm

Like :)
Back to top Go down
Shekk
Mini Noob
Mini Noob


Reputation : 42
Number of posts : 298
Location : Belgrade
[9D](Acclaim) : RIP Krmelj
[C9] : Nooblet
Me? : []

PostSubject: Re: Men, the Gender Wars Are Over — We Won   Mon Feb 15, 2010 6:31 pm

Amen! Very Happy
Back to top Go down
Adeacia
Wanna-be Noob
Wanna-be Noob
avatar

Reputation : 3
Number of posts : 81
Location : England
[JD] : Adeacia
Me? : I'm a girl. xD

PostSubject: Re: Men, the Gender Wars Are Over — We Won   Mon Feb 15, 2010 7:24 pm

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
Back to top Go down
http://adeacia.deviantart.com
Phenelope
Noob Apprentice - Level 3
Noob Apprentice - Level 3
avatar

Reputation : -77
Number of posts : 702
Location : Sweden
[9D](Acclaim) : Phenelope, JebuNagazi
[JD] : JebuNagazi
[VC] : Phenelope
Me? : Just a blond Dude from Gotland!
https://imageshack.com/a/img40/1103/8p7.gif

PostSubject: Re: Men, the Gender Wars Are Over — We Won   Tue Feb 16, 2010 8:02 am

Hahaha aaaa finally the document i been looking for ^^ !!
Back to top Go down
FireSile
Noob Student - Level 2
Noob Student - Level 2
avatar

Title : Architect of Destiny
Reputation : 1639
Number of posts : 1426
Location : Romania/Constanta
[9D](Acclaim) : -FireSile-
[JD] : xSile
Me? : Yeah Me? o.o

PostSubject: Re: Men, the Gender Wars Are Over — We Won   Tue Feb 16, 2010 11:24 am

Back to top Go down
D3von
Certified Noob - Level 1
Certified Noob - Level 1
avatar

Title : Rebel without a Cause
Reputation : 277
Number of posts : 2973
Location : Home
[12Sky2] : Informatoru, Infonoob
[9D](Acclaim) : .......D3von
[C9] : D3von / DeathStrike
[JD] : Avvaks
[ME] : D3von
Me? : I am a Rockstar!

PostSubject: Re: Men, the Gender Wars Are Over — We Won   Wed Feb 17, 2010 5:46 am

men powaaaa!!!
now let's celebrate manly beers are on me!

_________________
I'm hungry!
Back to top Go down
FireSile
Noob Student - Level 2
Noob Student - Level 2
avatar

Title : Architect of Destiny
Reputation : 1639
Number of posts : 1426
Location : Romania/Constanta
[9D](Acclaim) : -FireSile-
[JD] : xSile
Me? : Yeah Me? o.o

PostSubject: Re: Men, the Gender Wars Are Over — We Won   Wed Feb 17, 2010 11:46 am

Back to top Go down
D3von
Certified Noob - Level 1
Certified Noob - Level 1
avatar

Title : Rebel without a Cause
Reputation : 277
Number of posts : 2973
Location : Home
[12Sky2] : Informatoru, Infonoob
[9D](Acclaim) : .......D3von
[C9] : D3von / DeathStrike
[JD] : Avvaks
[ME] : D3von
Me? : I am a Rockstar!

PostSubject: Re: Men, the Gender Wars Are Over — We Won   Wed Feb 17, 2010 11:57 am


_________________
I'm hungry!
Back to top Go down
dragon
Newbie
Newbie
avatar

Reputation : 15
Number of posts : 38
Location : BP

PostSubject: Re: Men, the Gender Wars Are Over — We Won   Fri Feb 19, 2010 1:16 am

Men's English

I'm hungry = I'm hungry.
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.
I'm tired = I'm tired.
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you.
What's wrong? = What stupid self inflicted psychological trauma is it now?
What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question?
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Let's have sex now!
I love you, too = Okay, I said it. Now can we have sex?
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before.
Let's talk = I'll impress you by showing you I am a deep guy then maybe sex?
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with others.
Back to top Go down
MainEvent
Noob Student - Level 0
Noob Student - Level 0
avatar

Title : Gay Pedophile
Reputation : 42
Number of posts : 1003
Location : Romania
[9D](Acclaim) : MainEvent, Queen-Bee
[JD] : RzArektaH
Me? : I'm not a complete idiot unlike Xss...some parts of me are missing Very Happy

PostSubject: Re: Men, the Gender Wars Are Over — We Won   Fri Feb 19, 2010 5:19 am

roflmao...

_________________
--- click me --- --- click me ---
Back to top Go down
theanalyzer
Noob Student - Level 1
Noob Student - Level 1
avatar

Title : Maker of Porn
Reputation : 308
Number of posts : 1362
Location : Pillar of Autumn

PostSubject: Re: Men, the Gender Wars Are Over — We Won   Fri Feb 19, 2010 10:46 am

dragon wrote:

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with others.

wrong? o.o?

anyway, all cheers - yays and nays

no discussions :S

tbh i think, the article shows the sad direction society is going towards. "boys vs girls" is something that ive known to experience at grade 3, but to see this reach a global scale ... :O

women alone cant make children, men alone cant do that. its a collective effort. and in bringing them up, both make sacrifices. but if each gender keeps thinking about their "race" - what will become of children?

too much said Very Happy - lets wait for responses :P
Back to top Go down
dragon
Newbie
Newbie
avatar

Reputation : 15
Number of posts : 38
Location : BP

PostSubject: Re: Men, the Gender Wars Are Over — We Won   Fri Feb 19, 2010 12:28 pm

Women's English


Yes = No.
No = Yes.
Maybe = No.
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry...
We need = I want.
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what ever you want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly = You need a shave, and you sweat a lot.
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate.
I'll be ready in a minute = I'll be ages but do NOT put the TV back on.
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead]
Back to top Go down
D3von
Certified Noob - Level 1
Certified Noob - Level 1
avatar

Title : Rebel without a Cause
Reputation : 277
Number of posts : 2973
Location : Home
[12Sky2] : Informatoru, Infonoob
[9D](Acclaim) : .......D3von
[C9] : D3von / DeathStrike
[JD] : Avvaks
[ME] : D3von
Me? : I am a Rockstar!

PostSubject: Re: Men, the Gender Wars Are Over — We Won   Fri Feb 19, 2010 2:58 pm


_________________
I'm hungry!
Back to top Go down
WolfCry
Certified Noob - Level 2
Certified Noob - Level 2
avatar

Title : Barney the Purple dinosaur
Attribute : Shares Wisdom
Reputation : 468
Number of posts : 3320
Location : Lithuania
[9D](Acclaim) : Crown_Clown/Qiu
[C9] : CrownClown
Me? : God's Clown.

PostSubject: Re: Men, the Gender Wars Are Over — We Won   Sat Feb 20, 2010 5:54 am

omg Very Happy
thats true Very Happy
Back to top Go down
dragon
Newbie
Newbie
avatar

Reputation : 15
Number of posts : 38
Location : BP

PostSubject: Re: Men, the Gender Wars Are Over — We Won   Sun Feb 21, 2010 5:40 am

WHAT A WOMAN SAYS:
"This place is a mess! C'mon!
You and I need to clean up!
Your stuff is lying on the floor
and you'll have no clothes
to wear if we don't do laundry right now!"

WHAT A MAN HEARS:
blah, blah, blah, blah, C'MON
blah, blah, blah, blah, YOU AND I
blah, blah, blah, blah, ON THE FLOOR
blah, blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES
blah, blah, blah, blah, RIGHT NOW
Back to top Go down
theanalyzer
Noob Student - Level 1
Noob Student - Level 1
avatar

Title : Maker of Porn
Reputation : 308
Number of posts : 1362
Location : Pillar of Autumn

PostSubject: Re: Men, the Gender Wars Are Over — We Won   Sun Feb 21, 2010 6:55 am

............................................________
....................................,.-‘”...................``~.,
.............................,.-”...................................“-.,
.........................,/...............................................”:,
.....................,?......................................................,
.................../...........................................................,}
................./......................................................,:`^`..}
.............../...................................................,:”........./
..............?.....__.........................................:`.........../
............./__.(.....“~-,_..............................,:`........../
.........../(_....”~,_........“~,_....................,:`........_/
..........{.._$;_......”=,_.......“-,_.......,.-~-,},.~”;/....}
...........((.....*~_.......”=-._......“;,,./`..../”............../
...,,,___.`~,......“~.,....................`.....}............../
............(....`=-,,.......`........................(......;_,,-”
............/.`~,......`-...................................../
.............`~.*-,.....................................|,./.....,__
,,_..........}.>-._...................................|..............`=~-,
.....`=~-,__......`,.................................
...................`=~-,,.,...............................
................................`:,,...........................`..............__
.....................................`=-,...................,%`>--==``
........................................_..........._,-%.......`
...................................,

i give up
Back to top Go down
Sponsored content




PostSubject: Re: Men, the Gender Wars Are Over — We Won   

Back to top Go down
 
Men, the Gender Wars Are Over — We Won
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» Looking for New Star Wars Lego
» Terran Wars
» Hot Toys making Indiana Jones figures, hints at Star Wars as well...
» FS: Animated Clone Wars Mace Windu Starfighter
» AT TE WALKER - for the star wars fans - DONT pay $250 when you can pay....

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
DESTINY :: Public Boards :: General Chat-
Jump to:  
Free forum | © phpBB | Free forum support | Contact | Report an abuse | Free forum